Calvin's snowmen
"First she says go out. Now she says come in." --Calvin, after making a snow sculpture of a snowman bowling with another snowman's headtransmogrifier.org: December 15, 1995 Calvin, like most other children his age, enjoys making snowmen during the winter. Unlike most other children, though, Calvin's snowmen are almost never regular snowmen; this discrepancy is often used by Bill Watterson in order to criticize the art scene. Bourgeois Buffoon The Bourgeois Buffoon was a strange snowman that Calvin asked his mom for a grant application to make them. It was denied, and they all melted. Suicidal snowman Calvin once made a snowman with a hot water bottle on its head. He later told Hobbes the snowman was committing suicide. Man-eating snowman A huge snowman with a big mouth. Calvin placed himself in its mouth to create the impression he was being eaten alive. Upon noticing the snowman, Susie commented on low real estate activity in the nighborhood. Tiny snowmen Many of these were made by Calvin, and he crushed them all, pretending to be a Tyrannosaurus. Calvin made more two years later, fleeing from a snow T-Rex. They were also used once when Calvin made one commit suicide by jumping from his bedroom window, and another time when he drove his sled right into a "town" of small snowmen. He also made one when he wanted to be tall, and he called it "shrimp." Two-headed snowman Calvin made several snowmen heads and placed them on poles, mouths agape. His dad notices them as he walks to the house, muttering "Home sweet home". In one strip, Calvin's parents are walking on the sidewalk looking at snowmen. They see a snowmen with two heads and the dad says, "You can always tell when we're getting close to our house." Easter Island heads Calvin made several large snowmen heads that resembled Easter Island statues. When his dad came along, Calvin said, "What's wrong with Easter Island? I like Easter Island!" Anatomically correct snowman After seeing Susie make a snowwoman, Calvin made a snowman with all parts of the body, but his mom stopped him, saying, "I don't care! We're not having an anatomically correct snowman in our front yard!", which referred to indecency on the snowman after it being "anatomically correct". Snowman House of Horror Calvin created several depictions of snowmen in his "Snowman House of Horror." Among the snowmen created, a specific snowman had been chopped in half with a sled driven by a baby snowman. Another had a tree growing through his stomach, while another had three eyes and two noses yet another snowman was holding it's head in it's arms and a final one was almost buried. Automobile accident snowmen This famous gag involved Dad's parked car. Several snowmen were seen gaping in horror at the trisected body of a snowman "hit" by the car. Dad's quote upon seeing the sculpture: "I think we'd better get that kid to a psychologist." The last panel of this strip is frequently mistaken to be a single panel strip, when it is, in fact, part of a Sunday strip. The hill snowman A giant snowman peeking over the edge of a hill. Only the top of the head and "fingers" grasping the hill can be seen, but that was enough to freak out Calvin's dad. This could be a reference to the "Kilroy was here" graffiti phenomenon from the 1980's. Deranged mutant killer monster snow goons This series began as an attempt by Calvin to bestow life on a snowman by invoking the "great and terrible snow demons." The attempt goes horribly wrong and instead of the snowman slave or "snow goon" he set out to create, the result was a growling, lurching monstrosity which Calvin described to Hobbes as a "deranged mutant killer monster snow goon" who went on to create others of his kind; at least one had two heads. The snow goons "follow" Calvin to his house and one is seen "looking" inside the window not from Calvin's perspective but a regular perspective, that of an ordinary snowman with a carrot nose. Calvin and Hobbes finally killed them by spraying them with the hose while they were sleeping. He also makes a sign sometime later saying that a lot of snowmen were frozen on this spot. The phrase was used as the basis of the title of the ''Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons ''uncompilation. Snow snake Like the man-eating snowman, Calvin made the same impression, except instead of a giant snowman, he made a snake. While Calvin is sticking his head out of the mouth of the snake, Susie passes by, and he tries to get her to join in the imagination game and pull him out of the snake. Susie, ever-dignified in the face of Calvin's antics, comments on his weirdness and leaves. Snow sharks Calvin once made a snowman swimming in the snow, while being chased by snow sharks, which is just the dorsal fin of a shark. Calvin says, "That guy's a goner." The Spirit of Compromise Calvin and Hobbes once tried to make a sculpture called "The Spirit of Compromise", which showed two snowmen setling their differences. It was supposed to be two snowmen shaking hands. Hobbes made one, and Calvin made the other, but Calvin made his snowman's arm too short, which started a big fight. When it finally ended, Hobbes remarked, "I don't think this sculpture is very good." Calvin replied, "It's a compromise."transmogrifier.org: November 28, 1993 Snowmen Prophets of Doom Calvin once made snowmen, and gave them signs: "Repent sinners", "The end is near", and "Spring is coming!" It shows that spring is near, and it also shows the snowmen melting. Upon seeing this, his mother quips,"You certainly take the pleasure out of waiting for the daffodils." Soldier Snowmen The snowmen salute Calvin's dad, like army men. Calvin's dad walks down the side walk where they were lined up, saying "He knows I hate this." Snowmonster On one occasion Calvin made a giant snow squid eating snowmen and other snowmen running away causing his father to say " I don't think the school assigns enough homework." Snow Dinosaur Calvin's parents realize that Calvin has been working all day on somthing. They wonder what it is, but can't tell from their perspective inside the house. However, a bird's-eye-view panel at the end shows us that this sculpture is a long running pipe of snow shaped to look like a dinosaur about to eat the house. Snowman Riot In one strip, Calvin's dad came home to find a bunch of snowmen that held signs of protest from Calvin saying: *Too Strict *Homework No! *Calvin's Dad Unfair *Later Bedtimes Fewer Baths *Egad! Bad Dad! In response, Calvin's dad said, "No one ''else ''at the office talks about this kind of thing." Sick Snowmen As Calvin's dad is arriving home from work one day, he notices several snowmen in the front yard who are posed either clutching their stomachs or vomiting, evidenced by the piles of snow in front of them. He goes inside and asks Calvin's mom "Eggplant casserole tonight?" To which She responds, "Why, yes." Glasses Snowman In one strip, Calvin's dad loses his glasses. As he wanders around the house looking for them, he recites everything he's done recently in hopes of reminding himself when and where he took them off. As he gets to "..I told Calvin to shovel the walk... Where could they be?" we see the outside of the house, where there is a snowman Dad (wearing the glasses) yelling while holding a whip over a snowman Calvin, who looks very unhappy and is holding a snow shovel. Spirit of the New Year In one New Year's Sunday strip, Calvin makes an "inspiring" snowman to represent the spirit of the New Year - with one hand on his forehead as if staring into the distance, and leaning forward into it, he "strides forward with confidence, calling forth the best qualities of human drive." In the last panel, Hobbes redirects attention to the snowmen behind the Spirit, who are gossiping, lounging lazily against trees, and point-and-laughing at the Spirit snowman. Hobbes asks if these snowmen represent the real world and Calvin replies, "Yeah. This is why we're glad the old year is over." Effigies One time, Calvin makes so many snowmen to cover the lawn that Hobbes asks him what they're all for. Calvin responds that each one represents someone he doesn't like so that as they melt, he can watch their disfigurement and final demise. He mentions that the people he really hates are represented by smaller snowmen so they'll melt faster. Transplant Calvin sawing into the head of a snowman laying on its back while suggesting to Susie that while he does "brain surgery", she "can make a donor and do a heart transplant!" She leaves, telling him to forget it. Snow Art Calvin builds a snowman that "transcends corporeal likeness to express deeper truths about the human condition" but it melts in the sun. His next snowman is meant to "take advantage of the medium's impermanence" and provoke thoughtfulness as it melts. This message is lost on a passerby, who calls Calvin a dope for building a snowman on such a warm day. Calvin then moves on to abstract snow art, which looks like a tall, oblong lump of snow with two ear-like lumps on top and a circle going through it. Snowmen that slowed traffic down Calvin made three snowmen: One, shot with a cannon so much that its mid-section fell out, two, one head on the ground and another standing over it with a shovel and three, one in a hangman position--on a stool and rope around its neck, tied to the three. His Dad remarked that, "You must admit it slowed down the traffic on our road". Avant Garde Snowman A normal looking snowman that Calvin made and got into an argument with Hobbes over it. Snowhead for Susie Not exactly a snowman but Susie opens her door to find a melting "snow head"on her door step. She tells Calvin, "You really need professional help". Gigantic Snowman Calvin proposed the idea of a gigantic snowman that would attract tourists. Hobbes complained of exhaustion after pushing a snowball to maximum size. When Calvin says nine more snowballs like it are needed, Hobbes exasperatingly remarks "NINE MORE?!", to which Calvin replies "Sure, this is just one of his toes!" The plan for the gigantic snowman is terminated when an enraged Hobbes stuffed Calvin inside the jumbo snowball. Bathtub Snowman To avoid bathing, Calvin constructed a snowman that looked like him in his bathtub and sneaked out. Unfortunately, his Mom found it and shouted, "Nice Try!" Nude Descending A Staircase Calvin builds a snowman on a snow set of stairs and tells Hobbes the artwork is called, "Nude Descending A Staircase." This is a reference to an earlier strip where Calvin got out of the bathtub and yelled to his mom, "Hey, look at me! 'Nude Descending a Staircase!'" Bowling Snowmen Calvin builds a snowman playing ten-pin bowling and another headless, but is unfortunatly and unsurprisingly called in by his mother. Calvin responds by telling Hobbes, "First she says go out, now she says come in!" Snowman Crossing In one strip, Calvin built numerous snowmen crossing the road, complete with a nearby "Snowman Crossing" sign. This blocked his dad's car from crossing the road, prompting him to yell, "Calvin, I'm late for work!" Snow Dog A dog that Calvin crafted out of snow. He placed it up against a hydrant, to his parents' dismay. Ice cream snowmen One of two snowmen was enjoying a snow cone, while the other had been stabbed with the ice cream scoop. Calvin refers to it as a "sordid story" Generic snowmen In the interest of commercialism (and perhaps due to a lack of ideas), Calvin has built a few run-of-the mill, conventional snowmen. References Category:Running gags Category:Running gags